How to disagree without wanting to scream

Ever been in a disagreement where no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get on the same page? 

It’s frustrating, especially when you care about the conversation (or person) and actually want to get somewhere.

If it’s an argument that matters, here’s what I’ve found helpful.

1.

If the other person gets disrespectful, stop them immediately.

Set the boundary. “Happy to have this conversation, but only if there’s mutual respect. Let’s try again.”

That alone will tell you if it’s worth continuing.

2.

When things get heated, the conversation can spiral into a mess of accusations, misquotes and oversimplifications. Don’t let that happen. 

Stop the runaway train by refusing to let them pile on words or derail the topic.

Slow it down. “Let’s deal with one thing at a time, shall we?”.

3.

Find small agreements. It’s like building a structure, one block at a time. A structure that you don’t want to come tumbling down.

“Can we agree that there are more millionaires in their 20s now because of digital platforms?”

Great. That’s one block down. Then move to the next. 

This keeps the conversation from crumbling under the weight of scattered arguments and slippery tactics.

Of course, sometimes biases and egos take over. When that happens, the conversation will probably loop in circles. My take? Agree to disagree and call it a day.

Now, I’m not a psychologist or a world-renowned conversation expert or anything. But I do talk to people—a lot. And this might help.

So, how to disagree without wanting to scream in a nutshell:

1. Set the boundary—No respect, no conversation.

2. Don’t let it spiral—Slow it down. Focus on one point at a time.

3. Build common ground—Start with small agreements.

Until next time, keep talking it out!